Best

At least six times a day, one or both of the girls roots enthusiastically against my breasts before I can cram a bottle into their gaping maw.  "Sorry, kids," I say breezily. "No milk in there.  Well, okay, there's still kind of milk in there, but it's poison milk.  Here, have some formula, instead.  According to the Internet, formula is poison, too.  Mmmm, good, huh?  Sweet, sweeeeet poison."

Yes, I really do talk to my children that way.  Why?  Well, mostly because they're about a month old and don't speak English yet (although their Esperanto is coming right along), but also because I've been thwapped in the face so many times by the Breastfeeding Is Best brigade that I've moved from 'shame' to 'envy' to 'wistfulness' and straight into 'Yeah, whatever'.

The other night I dreamed that because I wasn't breastfeeding, men from the government declared me to be of no further benefit to society at large, took Fitz-Hume and Millbarge away from me and then had me killed for my tasty veal-like meat.  Yes, I dreamed that I was Soylent Akeeyu.  Clearly, I still have issues with the breastfeeding thing, don't you think?

I think it was the formula cans that pushed me over the edge. 

I love how it says "Breastfeeding is best" right on the fucking can of formula, don't you?   

Yes, I get that breastfeeding is best.  I've read the articles, I subscribe to your ideals, I totally wanted to do it, but cut me a goddamned break, okay?  I don't think there's a person in the world whose life was ever changed by such a simplistic message. 

"Gee, I'm at a crazy high risk for postpartum psychosis and the medications needed to lower that risk are so dangerous in breast milk that my children would  have to have weekly blood draws and frequent EKGs and might still end up with idiopathic brain, thyroid and liver changes, but wait!  This can of formula says that breastfeeding is best!  Oh, in that case..."

"Well, I have to go back to work pretty soon because my company/government doesn't offer a real maternity leave package, and there are no laws in my state protecting my right to pump or breastfeed at work, so breastfeeding exclusively for six months is just not going to happen, but wait!  This can of formula says that breastfeeding is best!  Oh, in that case..."

Fuck you, can of formula.  Fuck you right in your big powdery ass, because by the time I'm buying formula in cans the size of a Rottweiler's head, that ship has kind of sailed, don't you think?  While we're on the subject, why not put preachy warning labels on all baby related products?

Disposable diapers: Cloth is best.
Thermometers: The care of a registered nurse is best.
Baby food: Homemade baby food prepared by a registered dietician is best.
First Aid kits: Having an EMT on hand is best.
Your paycheck: Staying at home with your baby is best.
Cribs: Co-sleeping is best.
Your bed: No, wait, maybe a crib is best.
Bassinets: Dudes, don't look at me; I'm staying out of this one.  Maybe you should just carry your baby around until they're three.  Yeah, that's it.  Carrying your baby everywhere is best.
Baby Bjorn: No, you're doing it wrong.  That strap should be...no, not there.  Higher.  Lower.  Look, have you even carried a baby before?  I really think that an Au Pair would be best.

Comments

[Courtney]

Damn it, I just lost my comment. And it was witty and compassionate and all around awesome. Let me summarize:
Your girls are a month old? Wow. Good job Akeeyu and Sam!
I'm sorry you're being tormented by breast is best folks. Good job not using the term "breastfeeding nazis."
Love the warning labels! Speaking as someone who took a month to feel comfortable using the ergo all by myself, I totally agree with the last one.

Anyway... you make me laugh, I'm glad you seem to be doing well, and Soylent Akeeyu gave me the shivers. Better to be veal-like meat than fatty, grisly rancid meat!

[Kinuk]

LOVE IT!

How true. When we started "topping" Junior up with formula (because, you know, feeding for 10 mins, then falling asleep for 15, then screaming due to the hunger, then feeding for 10 mins, falling asleep on the boob etc... was REALLY good for my mental health) people acted like we were boiling him in extra virgin oil every night.

And the messages on all the damn formula boxes "There's nothing better than breastmilk" drove me nuts, until I stopped caring. A is now nearly 8 months and he hasn't seem to have suffered. Do what you gotta do, I say. Do what you need to do to keep yourself happy and healthy. Cos if you're not, who'll take care of your children?

[jeanie]

ha ha ha ha - who needs the bf-n's when the cans can do the job of haranguing you, hey?

Its what I say every time - every choice you make from now on in is going to be scrutinised and judged, because you are a mother, and we all know it is their fault.

[Heather]

What's funny is back in the days when I was born my mom was told that the "new formula" is the best thing for baby.

In the end, Fitz-Humme and Millbarge are getting fed, you are happy, end of freaking story. The rest can stick it.

Glad you haven't lost your sense of humor though :)

[daysgoby]

And it continues....when R was THREE years old (y'know, with TEETH, and eating raw CARROTS and RAISINS and HOT DOGS and all sorts of stuff people on a purely liquid diet do NOT) the first day care we toured the director pulled us into her office and asked if she was breastfed.

I was trying to figure out if my enormous chest led her to believe I'd signed on for the breastfeeding lifetime achievement award or if Rosey was oogling me with some sort of 'Boobie-come-hither' look in her eye when she said she'd noticed that we'd listed R as having puffers once in awhile, and none of her breastfed charges had that problem.....

We were so out of there.

The damn cans gave me heartburn. You do what's right for your kids, Akeeyu, and ignore those nasty-ass mommy-as-punching-bag labels.

[swissmiss]

On the other hand, I just got a drive by telling me to use formula because I'm taking an SSRI. Like Jeanie said, here comes the scrutiny. From total strangers. Gotta love it.

[KK]

Listen, fuck ANYONE who condems you for formula feeding (like it's any of their business anyway!). I was lucky enough to never be the brunt of any scrutiny for voluntarily (OMG! Yes! Voluntarily! Someone who actually just didn't want to BF because they simply didn't want to!! Quick! Grab the lynchmob!) formula feeding my daughter.

And yes, I did get a kick out of the "breastfeeding is best" labels on the formula.

And my daugther didn't burn a fever till she was 9 months old, she walked at 9 months old, spoke at 10 months, and is fucking BRILLIANT. All from *gasp* formula feeding. And lots of love from her parents.

Don't beat yourself up too much about not BF-ing. You are doing the best for your kids. YOU'RE the mom and YOU make the rules for YOUR kids. Everyone else can go pound sand.

Glad to hear F&M are doing well.

[Flicka]

Snarky blog entries are best.

Wow a month old! Way to go, F-H and Millbarge! Guess that poisin is really agreeing with you, huh? You know, I was given poisin too, even though my mom's boobs worked fine. And here I am today, perfectly fine and whole. Maybe slightly deranged but I think that's genetic. No drain bamage at all.

[Eva]

It's been a year now since weaning and I care 90% less about the breastfeeding issue. It'll fade for you, too, don't worry! I can't imagine why people are giving you trouble about this issue. If anyone has excellent and understandable reasons for weaning early, it's you.

[Veggie]

You go girl. I'm a lactivist, and someone with a mental illness, and I totally think you made the right choice. No need to feel bad. Snarky is funny, but you are going to be such a better mother for making the choice you did.

[Lioness]

You rock! And your comments at Julie's did as well.

[Lisa]

(OMG! Yes! Voluntarily! Someone who actually just didn't want to BF because they simply didn't want to!! Quick! Grab the lynchmob!)

Hey, that lynch mob was at MY house! Your house is next! Be careful, though, those torches are burny.

You know what's best? Happy Momma. Everything else is just gravy. (mmmmm, gravy)

[CJ]

The whole reason formula exists are cases like yours, when breastfeeding isn't possible.

Just understand the context of formula manufacturers realizing that they can make more money the more formula they sell and since they have money for ads, they pummeled the free alternative (that is better if it works out for you, sure, but that's if it works out for you). The formula companies lied, distorted and to this day engage in poor advertising practices, just not in developed countries.

I don't hate formula companies because they make products that help mothers like you, and like a friend of mine who's son, despite cutting the frenulum still couldn't nurse, but I hate them with a passion that we have to have this debate at all. It's the inescapable fact that formula production is a business and the makers view it that way rather than as a public service to aid mothers.

I'm glad you have a solution that works for you and your children. Also note they'll try to nurse on Sam, so in a sense it isn't you at all!

(lurker coming out to say CONGRATS! too)

[MsPrufrock]

One only needs to have a cursory glance at my blog to discover my feelings about breastfeeding. I agonised over it for ages, and not surprisingly, my 20 month old is as active and healthy as any other. Fuck 'em.

[Lesley]

That was hilarious.
After I gave birth, I should have had one of those warning labels on my forehead, maybe something like, "a mother who can get out of bed and take a shower occasionally is best."
Happy one-month birthday to the girls!

[May]

Love it! Good to hear your snarkiness again!

PS Have you discovered the Costco brand formula yet?

[silene]

While I haven't cured cancer yet, having been formula-fed as a baby doesn't seem to have affected my ability to attend top universities or achieve honors in my chosen field or even my ability to parent my own child - it's a downright miracle, I tell you. Even if your milk weren't poison, I would defend your right to choose formula to the death (OK, maybe not death, but you get my point). As others have pointed out, happy & sane mama = happy & healthy babes, no matter how you get to the first part. Of course you've made the right choice for your girls, and no amount of criticism from the uninformed or holier-than-thou, or those sly, "subtle" hints on formula cans, is going to change that.

Five weeks already - whoo hoo!!!

[Joy]

I'm still waiting for someone to say something rude to me about "breast is best" when I give my daughter a bottle in public. I have the following retorts ready (one of which is actually true):

1) "It's breastmilk in a bottle, you judgmental cow."
2) "I'm taking required medications that will kill my baby if I breastfeed, but thanks for trying to make me feel bad about it, you judgmental cow."
3) "My kid's adopted, but I'm sure I can start lactating on command just for YOU, you judgmental cow."
4) "Fuck you, you judgmental cow."

They must sense it, because I've never gotten so much as a hairy eyeball...

[maggie]

I was formula fed and I am smart and well adjusted (if I do say so myself). My daughter was formula fed (we had to as she is adopted) and honestly she is a smart and super cute toddler - I could brag about her for hours, she walked at 9 months after all) I never felt I lost a connection with her cuz she did not breast feed and she seems to love me a lot :). Fuck'em if they say anything. :)

[Aurelia]

Like CJ above, I understand completely why you have to formula feed and yes, this is the exact reason. And I'm a huge believer in breastfeeding in just about any circumstance.

What I don't get is the judgement that other women inflict on moms. We seem to always be ten times harder on each other than men would ever dare be. Or is that my perception? Anyway, there is a reason that the Mommy Wars is a category on my blog...here it begins. The one thing I'm so sorry to say, that will continue forever.

[Tam]

Ohhhh, the guilt. I cracked up when I read your list because I STILL feel guilty when I co-sleep with my baby (what if he dies of SIDs?) but I ALSO feel guilty when he's sleeping in his cot (because what if he dies of SIDs?)

It's utterly ridiculous and wildly inconsistent, but... so's a lot of the parenting advice I'm getting.

[Superstar]

The beauty of having your very own children is that you can tell everyone else to kiss your ass. You raise them the way you know they should be. Maybe we should design t-shirts that say so. Everyone's the expert, right?

Woman, you crack me up!

[Denise]

I, luckily, never received any comments about bottle-feeding my boys in public. They are adopted, but a lot of adopted mothers try to breastfeed these days, so there is equal-opportunity guilt in the adoptive community. I just wasn't willing to pump or take drugs for weeks and then try to teach a four-month-old who was dealing with a major transition a new skill. Considering how eager both my boys were to get their every-three-hours bottle round the clock, I think they would have ripped my head off if I would have insisted that they breast-feed.

[Jenny]

Ha, I agree with Flicka: snarky posts are best!!

So glad to hear things are coming along. Don't let those cans get you down, no matter what you do as a parent someone's going to crawl up your ass about it. I got tons of negative comments *for* breastfeeding. Really, you can't win. The only solution is snark!

[suzanne]

whenever i get craptastic advice like that (usually from my super-judgmental cousin), i always want to say, "and WHAT exactly makes you the authority on this issue, eh? because i SURE AS FUCK think i'm smarter than you. SAT scores? let's compare. books read in the last week? bring it on. level of education? oh, yeah, i smoked you on that, too. so, YEAH, i think i'm a little better qualified to make MY OWN GODDAMNED DECISIONS. but thanks for your concern. why don't you re-allocate that attention you're bothering me with to your own kids, because your 8-year-old just ate his own snot."

the best moment EVER was when i took my daughter (just turned 2 at the time) to the park and i got in a discussion about this issue with my former sister-in-law, who was one of these malibu-stay-at-home-rich-husband-republican-$700-bugaboo-ACTUALLY-WORE-PRADA-TO-THE-PARK types. she implied that she was a superior parent to me because she didn't work and she breastfed her twins. (she actually told me on a previous occasion that the mohel she got to do her boys' circumcisions was "the one who does all the celebrities' babies!" and she wasn't being funny or ironic.)

at that moment, my kid, while swinging in the baby swing, counted aloud to 20 in english, french and spanish.

MUAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA.

amusingly enough, the conversation kind of petered out after that.

[sheilah]

Between your post and the comments, I am literally rolling on the floor, laughing!

(judgemental cows...hahahaha!!!)

[Ollie]

I'm jealous that you still have your wit. Mine shriveled up and scampered under the bed with the behemoth dust bunny brigade months ago. Yeah, that's right, I haven't swept the floor in months. So?

[mimi2303]

How did the shower go? I donated just wondered if it helped or if you really recieved it? Please update

[Mandy]

It seems there is always someone ready to make a judgemental comment about parenting, no matter what you do. I once nursed my daughter on a bench, facing a fountain with a blanket over both of us and had some rude woman come up and lecture me about how I should 'go to the bathroom for that.' For a second I thought maybe I'd forgotten myself and picked my nose.

I'm a firm believer in doing what is right and healthy for YOU and YOUR BABIES. Nothing else matters. Not anyone else's opinion, judgement, etc I recall reading that formula companies are now required to put something about breastmilk being best because there have been case in other countries where they misled people in their advertising (about it being better, in general, than even breastmilk).

We all know, however, that breast can't always be best. A woman I knew once had a pretty major drug problem, and the hospital knew it when she had her baby. (She was NOT sober at the time, it was a horrible mess) Would you believe they still tried to encourage her to breastfeed?

I'm sorry that some people just don't butt out, and sorrier that women who can't or shouldn't breastfeed are made to feel so crappy about all of this. It's not right. When the PSA's were running equating not breastfeeding to riding a mechanical bull while pregnant (did you see those? I was PISSED my tax dollars went toward that) I called to complain every time I saw one. For 3 weeks I called several times a day.

I digress.

You're doing a great job. Fuck 'em is right.

[Mandy]

I wanted to add.

You know what? Motherhood isn't about immediately knowing the right thing to do. It often involves looking at the information available and trying to make the best decision you can based upon then info and resources available at the time. You're doing a great job of that, don't let anything make you question that.

[Amyesq]

What makes mom happy and sane is ALWAYS best.

[Alex]

Love the comment on the Bjorn (which, incidentally, is a torture device IMO, and I am a would-be and sometimes am baby-wearer, but, oh don't even get me started on the inadequacies of the carriers available).

Really, an Au Pair would be best!

(Actually, I think the whole "breast is best" thing is mostly a dreadful campaign to control (some) women's bodies...conducted, as we know, largely by women. And don't get me wrong, I'm a (big) fan of breastfeeding for those who are able to and want to and I think there's a lot more society could do to facilitate and support this. But it's funny to me...I got a book on using baby signs (sign language) for Christmas and those authors report peer-reviewed published studies that show larger and longer-lasting effects on cognitive development for signing than I've seen reported for breastfeeding (even though the latter can't rely on experimental design and often don't seem to control for mom's education, income, etc.). But is anyone running around saying, "Signing is best!" No they are not. Because ...(my theory)...yawn...anyone can do it...even dads...and even when women (moms) do it, it doesn't restrict our mobility...so where's the fun in that?)

Well, that's my conspiracy theory for the evening. But really, could we just support women in the choices they make (though I realize yours are constrained in ways you wish they weren't, and I am sorry that is so) and be grateful that, thank heavens, we do finally live in an era and a place when there are safe, nutritious, readily available alternatives to breastmilk?

[Sheryl]

If its any consolation, I was a month premature and formula fed (my mother just couldn't make enough milk, and she stopped lactating completely within weeks). I probably ingested lead paint too, since we lived in an old house and I had old toys. I walked and talked coherently at 9 months, was near the top of my class all the way through school, and I have a fantastic job. Why? Because I had parents who loved me and nurtured me.

You do what's best for you and those babies. Screw everyone else.

[Jessica (aka Rose)]

When I was unable to nurse my baby I felt like every "Breast is Best" comment, remark, ad, or even note on the side of the formula can was a personal attack. You know what? Breast isn't always best. Doing what's best for you and your family is best. And contrary to popular belief formula ain't all that bad. grrr. Sorry.

[k77]

Sometimes breast isn't best. Sometimes a natural vaginal birth at home isn't best.

So yeah, fuck'em.

[marion]

Breastfeeding stats in this country would probably look quite different if there hadn't been a giant campaign in the middle of the 20th century, in which both the government and the medical community participated enthusiastically, to convince women that formula was best and breastfeeding was for losers. I think one reason we're seeing the mechanical bull ads and the insistence on "breast is best" on formula cans is overcompensation for past actions. However, YOU didn't have anything to do with OBs and pediatricians telling moms in the '50s that breast milk was inferior to formula, so it sucks that you have to deal with the aftereffects. That having been said, I'm really enjoying bits such as your post of other warning label suggestions. :)

[Holly B.]

The mommy wars suck. Glad you made the sane choice for YOUR family.

Here's a comment to add to the list of snarky responses:

5) I'm a double mastectomy cancer survivor, you judgmental cow. (I'm not but I have a friend who is--and who had a fertility miracle. Last summer, she flashed her scars at people who were assholes about bottle feeding.)

And as for the person who was told she should "go to the bathroom" for that, I was told the same once, by someone munching on something. My response: "When you eat YOUR lunch sitting on a dirty public toilet, I'll feed him there."

Honestly.

And my favorite all-purpose response: You fucked your kids up your way, I'll fuck mine up my way, thanks.

[Rachel Inbar]

Hilarious!!! BTW, I wonder how many of the "breast is best" activists were actually breastfed themselves... (I wasn't and I don't think it made any difference whatsoever.) Maybe add to the list, on baby bottles, "breast is easier to wash (though not dishwasher-safe)"...

[Vomitola]

Oh my, I do breastfeed, and I remember at some point in the early days, I was sitting there all unshowered and bleary with a boob tick attached for the eleventeenth hour that day (growth spurt), and I was trying to read the New York Times while scrolling the touchpad with one hand. And there was a huge ad on the side of page saying "Babies were born to be breastfed." And I screamed "What more do you want from me, I'm breastfeeding RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!" The early days with a baby left me a little touchy, shall we say.

I'm sorry things did not work out how you hoped/planned. I don't exactly get the warning label either, unless it's to potentially snare some of the people you see milling around at baby superstores, still pregnant, wondering what kind of formula they should register for. Maybe it makes someone think twice, except probably not. People who have done no research whatsoever and never heard of the breast-bottle debate are probably not big label readers. People who are consciously choosing formula out of need or preference have already made the choice, as you said.

The language choice is completely flawed and not informative anyway. "Best" opens the door for "good enough is fine too!" How many of us go out of our way to do every thing to an optimal level in our lives? Not meeeeee! So it comes off as "breastfeeding is for irrational perfectionists who also force their kids to look at flash cards all day." I am a big believer in people at least informing themselves on breastfeeding before making the choice, and a big believer in support and accurate info being available to women who are doing it. I mentor new breastfeeding mothers, and I (gasp) have a LLL membership card. However, I propose that anyone who would give you any crap at all is a twisted monster from beyond the briny deep. That does no one any favors. You know your own situation best. Having a newborn is sweet hell enough without someone giving you the stinkeye because they see a bottle in public.

It's really hard to let go of guilt in the early days of parenting, and you've already been through the mindfuck of infertility. It's easy for someone to say "cut yourself a break," but I found it takes time more than anything. I had issues about our birth, and my therapist said "Don't you get it? This is not your fault. You can't control this." And even being directly let off the hook caused me to dissolve into a puddle of weepy goo. But she was right, even though my body started trying to eat my placenta, leading to my baby having a rough landing, she was...wait for it....fine. It gets better, though, cliche or not. Babies thrive and get older despite our best evil intentions to ruin them. Resilient little bastards. I must make a note to order an abandoned fridge for the yard.

[BT_13_21]

Akeeyu, I gave birth right around the same time as you, and I would *love* to breastfeed. There is no reason for me not to, I have quit my job, I'm healthy, I make plenty of milk, and I (currently) require no mind-altering medication, but IT JUST AIN'T WORKING. Ugh. My nipples are bright flaming red and feel like they are being ripped off with every poor latch. Right now I'm pumping and giving it by bottle, but my god is that time consuming. I don't know how long I can keep it up. So how about that? No reason for me not to breastfeed, except my own spectacular failure in being unable to figure out how to do it right.

[Meira]

I probably am a 'breastfeeding nazi' (in that I very much believe in it), and I know I've commented on your other posts about it -- and I just wanted to say that I hope *my* comments didn't come across as judgmental. I never felt judgement of you, and I tried to word my comments carefully so that would be clear. I'm very sorry if I offended. I hate the mommy wars.

And BT_13_21 -- the first month of nursing always SUCKED for me. Even though it seems like your failing, you're not. You're kicking butt for your baby, and that's a beautiful thing. In the end, all that matters is that you can look your child in the eye and tell them you tried your best for them. Your 'best' may look different from someone else's best-- it doesn't matter. I happen to be good at the breastfeeding thing, but I suck in a lot of other departments -- all I can do is give them the best of *my* abilities. So, yeah -- if your best means you have to throw in the towel tomorrow to stay sane, so be it. You're still kicking butt for that baby, and that's all that matters.

[Lioness]

(I think I'm a bit in love with Holly B.'s friend, now those are gonads!)

[Shanna]

Akeeyu is best.

[lorrie]

Oh Thank Goddess the BFN weren't on the net in 1999 or 2001 when I adopted my girls. The accepted wisdom at the time was that a woman who had never given birth could not BF. Older kids adopted from China, especially. Kids who had been given formula in nipples cut to ensure extra fast flow-plus rice cereal--they were suddenly going to learn how to chomp on and suck? No way. I still don't know if anybody has succeeded with older adopted kids, mad propz to the ones who have succeeded in BF newborn adopted kids (Liana), but my kids are rock stars, having never tasted of Le Breaste. So there.

[Jolene]

'4) "Fuck you, you judgmental cow."'

I do believe that the mommy wars kick in as soon as anyone knows you're pregnant. I am 23 weeks (with my 3rd fertility miracle no less) and I do believe I want a shirt that has that Joy's retort on it. In bright, effing, neon-RED, giant, BOLD, font!!!!

Oh, and ditto Shanna's, "Akeeyu is best." You're the mommy, you are THE VERY BEST!

Here ya go Akeeyu...
6.) "I was on bedrest for MONTHS, till I got ASS SORE'S, and jiggly tiny baby muscles just to bring them into the world, after years of infertility, I went OFF MY MEDS during gestation, I ate ENTIRE COWS for lunch, and fought Gestational Diabetes. I now would like to be the sanest person I can for MY children, and am therefor taking my meds, and do not wish to poison the children I nearly killed myself to bring into this world, so FUCK YOU, YOU JUDGEMENTAL COW!" How's that for a t-shirt?
maybe...
7.) "If I go off my meds so that I can breastfeed I will probably have to kill people like you. So maybe...you're right... where do you live?...You judgemental COW!"
I could go on... and on....

[akeeyu]

Oh, I like all these answers, but there's also the short and sweet response to assvice from strangers:

8) Minding your own damned business is best.

[Alison]

To Vomitola: oh, how I love the phrase "boob tick." Oh yeah.

To BT_13_21: you're doing fine. get a lactation consultant in to help you. but whatever you decide, you're not failing.

To Akeeyu: My pediatrician is also a close family member of mine, and one of NYC's "top" (whatever that means) pediatricians. At one point I was at his house and he saw something in the NYTimes about equating breastfeeding to not smoking with your newborn. He went APESHIT. On and on about how yeah yeah, breastfeeding has certain advantages, but they're not just that big a deal, and they all tend to even out in a few years, and it's so much more important that women make the decisions they need to make for their lives, etc. And now, a few years later, I breastfed till 6months and then just stopped, because I hated pumping, I was working, and the mom = food dynamic was bad for me and my husband. I could have kept going, but it was 100% my choice to stop. I feel fine about it. You have vastly superior reasons to formula feed, so why feel guilty? And more to the point, who cares what your specific reasons are? It's your choice! Your body! Your babies!

Hope you're hanging in. Any day now the whole baby thing should get easier.

[kim]

I hate bf-n's. I was severely anemic following severe bloodloss after delivering my twins and never (NEVER NEVER) got a full supply, despite pumping, fenugreek, teas and whatever else i could get my hands on.

Feeding your children is best. Loving them and being emotionally there for them is best. Breastmilk is preferred but by no means the end all be all.

Babies need full bellies and full hearts. How you choose to do that - through formula or breastmilk, is yours, and fuck anyone who tells you how to do otherwise.

[Patty, Iowa]

I tried breastfeeding my twins with no success. They were premature, I had blood pressure through the roof, and they had an underdeveloped suck reflex. At my 6 week appointment (twins had only been out of NICU and home for 3 weeks) I sat on the table and sobbed. No guilt, no pressure, Dr. just commiserated and prescribed frozen peas (LOL) and said not to worry. The important thing was that the babies were fed and growing. Now, almost 9 years later they are healthy, smart, talented and FINE.

And remember, it's always something. Some kid's mom is always gonna have to brag about her kid doing whatever and why aren't yours. Well guess what? Most kids, bf or not eat boogers, dirt, dog food and God only knows what else.

[Geohde]

The slogans at the end are too funny.

As for the BF is best thing, I think you got that answered pretty thoroughly. In your case, it clearly isn't.

J