Pick One: Air or Baby
Do you think paraplegics have to deal with assvice?
Do you think people have the nerve to walk up to a newly paralyzed person and cheerfully say "Oh, but you can always get a wheelchair, you know," and then point out the accessibility ramps on the sidewalks in an oh-so-helpful manner?
I doubt it.
Even if the assvisors had the nerve, where would they find the time? Clearly, they're still all booked up pestering the Barren Bitches Brigade.
"Oh, but you can always do IVF," they say, as if being PS (Possibly Sterile) automatically reduces your IQ by forty points. As if you were the last person on the planet to ever hear of it. As if it works.
"Oh, but you can always adopt," they chirp, as if filling out endless paperwork and paying exorbitant fees is an identical experience to gestation and birth. As if you can afford it.
"Oh, but having children isn't everything, you know. There are other things in life," they say, going on to brag about Percival Junior's latest miraculous accomplishment.
That would have to be my least favorite 'oh, but'.
Have you ever gone on the offensive after being told that having children isn't everything? I highly recommend it, especially if you're feeling hormonal. Why vent your wrath on some innocent clerk who doesn't deserve it? Take it out on an assvisor, who clearly does.
"Air isn't everything, either, but it gains a whole new value when the plane's cabin depressurizes and those spiffy little emergency masks drop out of the overhead compartments, doesn't it?
"And what about those little masks, eh? Have you listened to the emergency instructions? People have to be told to put the masks on themselves before helping their children. People have to be specifically ordered to choose 'air' over 'offspring', and I'm willing to bet that when push comes to shove and those little orange mouthpieces are bobbing above their heads, most parents say 'to hell with it' and strap the mask on Junior, first.
"What else do you know that people value over air?"
Most people can't come up with an answer. Fertiles, especially, have a hard time coming up with any career, personal freedom, accomplishment, vacation, or amount of money that they would place at the level of importance as children.
There must be something, though, because they keep telling us that having children isn't everything, and they're always right. Just ask them.
